Momwe Mungagonjetsere Mavuto Olankhulana Mu Ubwenzi
Kulankhulana ndiye "mlatho" wofunikira kwambiri muubwenzi uliwonse—kaya ndi chibwenzi, ukwati, kapena ubale wina uliwonse wautali. Komabe, okwatirana ambiri amamva ngati amalankhulana pafupipafupi koma sakumvetsetsana. Mavuto olankhulana amatha kuonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana: kusamvana, kudzudzulana, kukhala chete kwa nthawi yayitali, kapena kukangana mobwerezabwereza pa nkhani yomweyi. Nkhani yabwino ndi yakuti, luso lolankhulana lingaphunzitsidwe. Ndi njira zoyenera, okwatirana amatha kupanga njira zolankhulirana zabwino, zofunda, komanso zopindulitsa kwambiri.
1. Dziwani chomwe chimayambitsa vuto la kulankhulana
Gawo loyamba pothana ndi mavuto olankhulana ndi kuzindikira chomwe chimayambitsa. Mbali yaikulu ya mkangano nthawi zambiri imawoneka ngati "simumvera" kapena "mumamva kwambiri." Komabe, muzu wa vutoli nthawi zambiri umakhala wozama, monga:
- Kusiyana kwa njira zolankhulirana: Anthu ena azolowera kulankhula momasuka, pomwe ena amakhala odziletsa komanso odziletsa.
- Mabala am'maganizo akale: Zomwe munthu anakumana nazo akamakanidwa, kunyozedwa, kapena kunyalanyazidwa zingapangitse munthu kudziteteza.
- Zoyembekezera zosamveka bwino: Ogwirizana nawo amayembekezera kuti amvetsetsedwe popanda kufotokoza moona mtima zosowa zawo.
- Kupsinjika maganizo kuchokera kunja kwa ubale: Kupsinjika kuntchito, zachuma, kapena m'banja kungasokoneze ubwino wa kulankhulana.
- Nkhani zokhudza kudalirana: Ngati kudalirana kutsika, kulankhulana kungasinthe mosavuta kukhala mafunso kapena kukayikirana.
Podziwa komwe kwayambitsa vutoli, maanja angasinthe maganizo awo kuchoka pa “ndani amene walakwa” kupita pa “chomwe chiyenera kukonzedwa”.
2. Yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi, musamangoyembekezera nthawi yanu yolankhula.
Mikangano yambiri imayamba osati chifukwa chakuti okwatirana salankhula, koma chifukwa chakuti sakumva kumvedwa. Kumvetsera mwachidwi ndi luso lomwe limathandiza munthu wina kumva kuti akumvetsedwa. Makhalidwe ake ndi awa:
- Samalani kwambiri (chepetsani zosokoneza pafoni).
- Bwerezani mfundo yaikulu ya zokambiranazo m'mawu anuanu: “Ndiye mukumva… chifukwa…”
- Kutsimikizira: "Kodi ndi zomwe ukutanthauza?"
– Musamamusokoneze nthawi yomweyo ndi njira yodzitetezera kapena yankho.
Kumvetsera mwachidwi nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta chifukwa tikakhumudwa, ubongo wathu umakonda kukonzekera mfundo zotsutsana. Komabe, ndi nthawi ngati izi pamene kumvetsera mwachidwi kumakhala kofunika kwambiri.
3. Gwiritsani ntchito mawu akuti “I-statement” kuti muchepetse kamvekedwe ka mlandu.
Ziganizo zomwe zimayamba ndi "nthawi zonse..." kapena "nthawi zonse..." nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa kudziteteza. Yesani kusintha kalankhulidwe kanu kukhala "mawu onena za inu nokha," mwachitsanzo:
– M'malo mwa: “Simundisamala!”
– Kukhala: “Ndimamva ngati ndanyalanyazidwa nkhani yanga ikatha kapena muli otanganidwa ndi foni yanu.”
"Mawu oti "I-terms" amathandiza kufotokoza malingaliro popanda kuukira khalidwe la mnzanu. Izi zimapangitsa kuti kukambirana kukhale kotetezeka ndipo kumalimbikitsa mnzanuyo kumvetsetsa, m'malo mokana.
4. Gwirizanani nthawi ndi malo oyenera oti mukambirane vutolo.
Si nkhani zonse zofunika zomwe zingachitike nthawi iliyonse. Kukambirana nkhani zovuta pamene wina wa inu watopa, wanjala, wachangu, kapena wamaganizo nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa mikangano. Pangani mgwirizano wosavuta, mwachitsanzo:
– “Tikambirana izi usikuuno titatha kudya chakudya chamadzulo.”
– “Ndikufunika mphindi 30 kuti ndikhale chete, kenako tikhoza kupitiriza.”
Kuchedwetsa kukambirana sikutanthauza kupewa, bola ngati pali kudzipereka kupitiriza kukambirana.
5. Pewani “poizoni” anayi olankhulirana omwe amawononga ubale.
Mu maubwenzi ambiri, njira zolankhulirana zoipa zimabwerezabwereza. Zizolowezi zina zimawononga kwambiri, monga:
1. Kudzudzula khalidwe, osati khalidwe
Chitsanzo: “Ndiwe wodzikonda!” n’zopweteka kwambiri kuposa “Ndikuganiza kuti chisankhochi sichinaganizire za maganizo anga.”
2. Mtima wodziteteza
Nthawi zonse muzidziteteza popanda kumvetsera mfundo yaikulu ya madandaulo a mnzanu.
3. Kunyoza kapena kunyoza
Nthabwala zopweteka, mawu onyoza, kugwedeza maso, kapena mawu onyoza.
4. Kumanga mpanda wa miyala (chete kwathunthu)
Chete ngati chilango, kudzitsekera, kapena kutuluka popanda chifukwa.
Ngati muwona kuti pali chilichonse mwa zizolowezi zimenezi, imirirani kaye. Pumulani mpweya, zindikirani momwe mukumvera, ndipo bwererani ku cholinga chachikulu: kupeza yankho limodzi.
6. Phunzirani kulamulira malingaliro anu musanayambe kulankhula.
Kulankhulana bwino sikungokhudza mawu okha, komanso momwe zinthu zilili m'maganizo. Pamene malingaliro akukwera, mawu amakwera, mawu amaseka, ndipo ubongo umavutika kuganiza bwino. Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kukulitsa luso lolamulira malingaliro, monga:
- Njira yopumira mozama masekondi 4-6.
- Choyamba lembani mfundo zomwe mukufuna kukambirana.
- Kuyenda kwa mphindi 10 kuti muchepetse kupsinjika.
- Kuzindikira malingaliro: "Ndakhumudwa kwenikweni, osati kukwiya."
Kulankhulana kumakhala kopindulitsa kwambiri tikazindikira malingaliro athu ndikuwafotokoza m'njira zabwino.
7. Pangani "kulembetsa" nthawi zonse kuti mavuto asachuluke.
Mabanja ambiri amalankhula za ubale wawo pokhapokha ngati pali vuto lalikulu. Komabe, kulankhulana kumakhala kosavuta ngati kumachitika nthawi zonse komanso pamalo osalowerera ndale. Yesani kukhala ndi "check-in" ya mphindi 20-30 sabata iliyonse kuti mukambirane izi:
– N’chiyani chinayenda bwino sabata ino?
- N’chiyani chimandipangitsa kumva kuti sindikusangalala?
- Ndikufuna chiyani kuchokera kwa inu sabata yamawa?
- Kodi pali zinthu zing'onozing'ono zomwe ziyenera kukonzedwa?
Kulembetsa kumathandiza kuti nkhani zazing'ono zithetsedwe mwachangu zisanayambe mikangano yayikulu.
8. Fotokozani zosowa ndi zolepheretsa
Okwatirana nthawi zambiri amakangana chifukwa zosowa zawo sizimafotokozedwa momveka bwino. Mwachitsanzo, munthu m'modzi angafune kukhala ndi munthu woti azimumvetsera, koma mnzakeyo amapereka njira zothetsera mavuto mwachangu, zomwe zimamupangitsa kumva kuti sanamvetsetsedwe bwino. Tchulani zosowa zanu mwachindunji:
– “Ndikufuna kuti mumvetsere kaye, sindikufunika kupereka yankho panobe.”
– “Ndikufuna kukhala ndekha kwa mphindi 30 nditamaliza ntchito.”
– “Ndimamva bwino ngati tikambirana za ndalama kumapeto kwa mwezi uliwonse.”
Malire omveka bwino si chizindikiro cha ubale wosakhazikika, koma chizindikiro cha kukhwima ndi kulemekezana.
9. Yang'anani pa mayankho, osati kupambana mkangano
Cholinga cha kulankhulana muubwenzi si kudziwa amene ali wolondola, koma kupeza njira yoti onse awiri azimva kuti ndi ofunika. Mkangano ukabuka, yesani kufunsa kuti:
- "Kodi tingatani kuti izi zisachitikenso?"
- "Kodi mgwirizano wachilungamo ndi chiyani?"
- "Ndi njira ziti zazing'ono zomwe tingayesere sabata ino?"
Yankho labwino nthawi zambiri silikhala labwino kwa aliyense, koma ndi loyenera kwa onse awiri.
10. Ganizirani thandizo la akatswiri ngati mkangano ukupitirira kubwerezabwereza.
Pali nthawi zina pamene okwatirana ayesa chilichonse koma akupitirizabe kukhala ndi njira zomwezo—monga, kulankhulana kawirikawiri popanda kukangana, kapena mavuto akale akubwerabe. Muzochitika ngati izi, mlangizi wa okwatirana kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo angathandize:
- Kuzindikira njira zolankhulirana mosazindikira.
- Chitani njira zolumikizirana zotetezeka.
- Kuthetsa mavuto pokambirana.
- Zimathandiza kubwezeretsa chidaliro pambuyo pa mikangano yayikulu.
Kupempha thandizo sikutanthauza kuti ubale walephera, kwenikweni kungakhale njira yodzipatulira kuti ubalewo ukhale wabwino.
Kutseka
Mavuto olankhulana muubwenzi ndi ofala, koma sayenera kunyalanyazidwa. Chinsinsi cha kusintha chili mu kufunitsitsa kumvetserana, kusamalira malingaliro, kulankhulana zosowa momveka bwino, ndikuyang'ana kwambiri pa mayankho. Kulankhulana kwabwino sikuchitika mwadzidzidzi—kumapangidwa kudzera mu zizolowezi zazing'ono komanso zokhazikika. Okwatirana akamayesetsa, ubalewo umakhala wolimba, wotetezeka, ndipo umamveka ngati kwawo kwa onse awiri.
Ngati mukufuna, ndingakuthandizeni kusintha nkhaniyi kuti igwirizane ndi nkhani yanu (chibwenzi, ukwati, ubale wakutali) kapena kuwonjezera zitsanzo zothandiza zokambirana kuti zikhale zothandiza kwambiri.
