Kuthana ndi Mlandu Wokhudza Uphungu M'gulu la Anthu
M'madera ambiri, uphungu nthawi zambiri umawonedwa kudzera mu malingaliro olakwika. Ena amaona uphungu ngati wa "misala" yokha, pomwe ena amaona kufunafuna thandizo la maganizo ngati chizindikiro cha kufooka mu chikhulupiriro, khalidwe, kapena kulimba mtima. Komabe, uphungu kwenikweni ndi njira yaukadaulo yopangidwira kuthandiza anthu kumvetsetsa mavuto, kuthana ndi malingaliro, kukonza malingaliro ndi machitidwe, ndikupeza njira zabwino zopitira ku moyo. Kusamvana komwe kumakhudzana ndi uphungu si kungosamvetsetsana chabe; kungakhale chopinga chachikulu chomwe chimalepheretsa anthu kufunafuna thandizo lomwe amafunikiradi—ndipo pamapeto pake chimawononga moyo wawo, maubwenzi, komanso ngakhale zokolola.
Kodi manyazi otsutsana ndi uphungu ndi otani?
Kusala ndi dzina loipa lomwe limagwirizanitsidwa ndi munthu kapena zochita, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti munthu amve manyazi, kuopa kuweruzidwa, komanso kusafuna kutseguka. Ponena za uphungu, kusala kumachitika pamene anthu amatcha anthu omwe amabwera kwa aphungu kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo kuti ndi "ovuta," "ofooka," kapena "osayamika." Kusala kumeneku kungakhale kwa anthu (kuopa kuweruzidwa), kwamkati (kuyambitsa manyazi mkati), kapena kwa kapangidwe kake (kovuta kupeza mautumiki, ndalama zambiri, kapena thandizo lochepa la mabungwe).
Motero, anthu ambiri amasankha kusunga nkhawa, nkhawa, mikangano m'banja, kuvulala, kapena kupsinjika kuntchito. Amangofuna thandizo pamene mavuto awonjezeka kale ndipo akukulirakulira. Nthawi zina, kusala anthu kumapangitsanso anthu kukana chithandizo ngakhale atakhala kale ndi zizindikiro za kuvutika maganizo, chizolowezi, kapena maganizo odzivulaza. Izi zikusonyeza kuti kusala anthu si nkhani yongoganizira chabe, komanso nkhani ya chitetezo cha anthu komanso thanzi lawo.
Zomwe zimayambitsa tsankho m'gulu la anthu
Kusalidwa kokhudzana ndi uphungu sikungobwera mwadzidzidzi. Pali zinthu zingapo zomwe zimapangitsa kuti uphungu uyambe.
Choyamba, pali kusowa kwa chidziwitso cha thanzi la maganizo. Anthu ambiri samvetsa kuti thanzi la maganizo ndi lofunika mofanana ndi thanzi la thupi. Ngati ali ndi dzino lopweteka, sachita manyazi kupita kwa dokotala wa mano. Komabe, akakumana ndi mantha kapena chisoni cha nthawi yayitali, ena amaona kuti akufunika kukhala "amphamvu" ndi "kudzichiritsa okha."
Chachiwiri, chikhalidwe chomwe chimagogomezera kulimba mtima ndi "kusunga dzina labwino." M'zikhalidwe zina, kuuza ena mavuto anu kumaonedwa ngati kochititsa manyazi. Chifukwa chake, uphungu umafanana ndi "kuulula zinsinsi za m'banja" kapena "wosalankhula." Komabe, uphungu umachitika pamalo aukadaulo omwe amasunga chinsinsi.
Chachitatu, malingaliro olakwika omwe amapangidwa ndi atolankhani ndi chilengedwe. Mafilimu, nkhani, kapena ndemanga za anthu nthawi zina zimawonetsa chithandizo ngati cha milandu yoopsa yokha. Mawu monga "wamisala," "wopsinjika maganizo kwambiri," kapena "wosowa chikhulupiriro" nthawi zambiri amagwiritsidwa ntchito mosasamala ndipo amalimbitsa malingaliro olakwika. Anthu akazolowera kumva mawu amenewa, anthu omwe amafunafuna uphungu amakhala ndi mantha kwambiri.
Chachinayi, zokumana nazo zoipa kapena utumiki wosafanana. Anthu ena aona kuti sakuyenera alangizi, samvetsetsedwa bwino, kapena apeza kuti uphungu "suthandiza." Ngakhale kuti zokumana nazozi sizikuyimira utumiki wonse, zimatha kufalikira kudzera m'mawu ndi kupanga malingaliro a anthu onse.
Zotsatira za kusalana: kuyambira pa anthu paokha kupita kumadera
Zotsatira za manyazi zimamveka pamlingo wosiyanasiyana. Pa munthu aliyense payekha, manyazi angayambitse kuchedwa kwa chithandizo, kuchepetsa kudzidalira, kudziimba mlandu, ndikupangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kumanga ubale wabwino. Angamve kuti ali okha, ali okha, komanso osayenera kuthandizidwa.
Pa msinkhu wa banja, manyazi angayambitse njira zolankhulana momasuka. Achibale omwe akukumana ndi mavuto amakakamizidwa kuti "asamakokomeze," "agwiritse ntchito nzeru," kapena "akhale oyamikira kwambiri," m'malo momvetsera. Mikangano imatha kukulirakulira chifukwa palibe malo otetezeka okambirana zakukhosi ndi zosowa.
Pa gawo la anthu ammudzi, kusala kumabweretsa mavuto ambiri pagulu: kuchepa kwa ntchito, kuzindikira zovuta za nkhanza zapakhomo, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo mopitirira muyeso, komanso ubwino wa achinyamata womwe umakhudzidwa. Gulu labwino si lopanda mavuto, koma ndi lokhala ndi njira zokhwima zopezera thandizo ndikupeza chithandizo.
Momwe mungagonjetsere manyazi otsutsana ndi uphungu
Kuchepetsa manyazi kumafuna njira zazitali komanso mgwirizano. Nazi njira zingapo zomwe zingagwiritsidwe ntchito.
1. Kuonjezera luso lodziwa bwino za thanzi la maganizo
Maphunziro ndi ofunikira kwambiri. Chidziwitso cholondola chokhudza kuvutika maganizo, nkhawa, zoopsa, kutopa, ndi mavuto ena amisala chiyenera kufalitsidwa m'chilankhulo chosavuta, chosaweruza. Masukulu akhoza kuphatikiza zida zothandizira thanzi la maganizo mu mapulogalamu awo opereka uphungu, pomwe madera ndi mabungwe amatha kuchita misonkhano kapena kukambirana momasuka.
Maphunziro ayeneranso kutsindika kuti uphungu sikutanthauza "mavuto aakulu nthawi zonse." Anthu ambiri amabwera kwa alangizi kuti athetse mavuto kuntchito, akonze luso lawo lolankhulana, akonzekere zisankho zazikulu, kapena kukonza ubale wawo. Uphungu ndi ntchito yodzikuza—osati chizindikiro cha kulephera.
2. Konzani chithandizo cha akatswiri komanso chithandizo chamankhwala.
Anthu ayenera kuona uphungu ngati njira yothandizira pa zaumoyo. Monga momwe amachitira nthawi zonse, uphungu ukhoza kupewera. Kulamulira malingaliro ndi kaganizidwe kawo kasanayambe kuphulika ndi kwanzeru komanso kotsika mtengo, pazachuma komanso pachikhalidwe.
Ma kampeni a anthu onse angagwiritse ntchito fanizo losavuta: “Monga momwe mabala akuthupi amafunikira kutsukidwa kuti apewe matenda, mabala amaganizo nawonso amafunikira kusamalidwa kuti asamere.” Fanizo labwino limathandiza anthu kumva kuti ali ndi chifukwa chofunsira thandizo.
3. Sinthani chilankhulo ndi momwe mungayankhire munthu amene akufotokoza nkhaniyo.
Kusalana nthawi zambiri kumachokera ku chilankhulo cha tsiku ndi tsiku. Kuchepetsa kugwiritsa ntchito zilembo monga "misala," "crybaby," "sewero," kapena "kusayamika" ndi sitepe yosavuta koma yofunika. M'malo mwake, tengani mayankho othandizira: "Zikumveka zovuta, kodi mukufuna kundiuza zambiri?" kapena "Mwafika pano, mwina thandizo la akatswiri lingathandize."
Chikhalidwe chomvetsera popanda kuweruza ndichofunika kwambiri. Anthu akamamva kuti ali otetezeka polankhula, nthawi zambiri amafunafuna thandizo loyenera.
4. Kupeza uphungu wochezeka komanso wotsika mtengo
Kusalana nthawi zambiri kumawonjezeka chifukwa cha kuchepa kwa mwayi wopeza uphungu. Ngati ntchito zolangiza ndi zodula, zakutali, kapena zovuta, anthu sadzafuna kuzifuna. Maboma, masukulu, mayunivesite, ndi makampani akhoza kukulitsa ntchito zolangiza mkati mwa nyumba kapena kugwirizana ndi opereka chithandizo chaukadaulo. Uphungu wa pa intaneti ukhozanso kukhala njira ina m'madera omwe ntchito zake ndi zochepa.
Chofunikanso ndi kuonetsetsa kuti ntchito zabwino zikuyenda bwino: alangizi ndi aluso, amakhalidwe abwino, amasunga chinsinsi, ndipo amatha kumanga ubale wabwino ndi anthu. Zochitika zabwino kwa ogwiritsa ntchito zimalimbikitsa chidaliro cha anthu.
5. Udindo wa atsogoleri ammudzi, atsogoleri achipembedzo, ndi anthu otchuka
Anthu odalirika pagulu ali ndi mphamvu yaikulu pakupanga malingaliro. Atsogoleri achipembedzo akamagogomezera kuti kufunafuna thandizo la maganizo si chizindikiro cha chikhulupiriro chofooka, kapena anthu otchuka akamagawana zomwe akumana nazo ndi chithandizo mwanjira yoganizira bwino, manyazi amatha kuchepetsedwa kwambiri. Uthenga wogwira mtima si "kungopereka uphungu ndikofunikira" komanso "uphungu ndi wachilengedwe komanso wachifundo."
Inde, kuwonekera poyera kumafuna kulemekeza zachinsinsi. Cholinga chake si kufalitsa nkhani zaumwini, koma kusonyeza kuti aliyense akukumana ndi mavuto ndipo akuyenera kuthandizidwa.
6. Pangani gulu lothandizana
Madera amatha kupanga malo otetezeka kudzera mu zochitika monga magulu othandizira, makalasi othandizira kupsinjika maganizo, maphunziro olankhulana ndi mabanja, kapena kukambirana za thanzi la maganizo. Gulu lothandiza sililowa m'malo mwa thandizo la akatswiri, koma lingakhale mlatho wothandiza anthu kutenga gawo loyamba.
Mwachitsanzo, kuntchito, makampani amatha kukhazikitsa mapulogalamu okhudza thanzi la maganizo, maphunziro oletsa kuzunzidwa, ndi mfundo zomwe zimathandiza kuti ntchito ndi moyo zigwirizane. Mabungwe akamatsogolera mwa chitsanzo, miyambo ya anthu imasintha.
Uphungu si mapeto, koma chiyambi cha kuchira.
Kugonjetsa manyazi okhudzana ndi uphungu kumatanthauza kumanga gulu losamala, lodziwa zambiri, komanso lolimba mtima lomwe limalandira chisamaliro chaumwini. Uphungu si chizindikiro cha kulephera, koma chizindikiro chakuti wina akudziwa bwino kuti apeze njira zabwino. Sitingathe kupewa mavuto onse a moyo, koma tingasankhe momwe tingawathetsere.
Ngati manyazi achepa, anthu ambiri adzalandira thandizo pa nthawi yake, mabanja adzakhala ofunda, ndipo madera adzakhala olimba. Kusintha sikuchitika nthawi yomweyo, koma kungayambe ndi zinthu zosavuta: kukonza momwe timalankhulira, kukhala olimba mtima mokwanira kumvetsera, ndikuvomereza thanzi la maganizo ngati gawo labwinobwino la moyo wa munthu.
Pomaliza pake, anthu abwino si anthu amene amaseka mabala, koma anthu amene amapereka mwayi wochira. Uphungu ndi malo amodzi—ndipo ndi nthawi yoti tiwone popanda kukayikira, popanda manyazi, komanso popanda manyazi.
