Te Hiranga o ngā Pūkenga Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero i roto i ngā Hononga
I roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa—ahakoa he whanaungatanga aroha, he whanaungatanga hoa, he whanaungatanga whānau, he whanaungatanga ngaio rānei—ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te tūāpapa e whakatau ana i te kounga o te whanaungatanga piripono me tōna roa. He maha ngā pakanga e puta mai ana ehara i te mea nā ngā rerekētanga nui, engari nā ngā karere kāore i te mārama te whakapuakitanga, kāore i te whakamārama hētia, kāore rānei i te puritia mō te wā roa. Ko ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero he mea nui atu i te kaha ki te kōrero; kei roto ko te whakarongo, te mārama, te whakapuaki i ngā kare ā-roto, me te hanga kōrero haumaru me te whakaute. Nō reira, ko te ako me te whakamahi i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero he haumitanga nui ki ngā whanaungatanga hauora me te tipu haere.
Te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hei piriti mō te māramatanga
Ko tētahi o ngā mahi matua o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ko te hanga māramatanga. Kāore e taea e tātou te tumanako ka mārama ētahi atu ki ō tātou whakaaro, ki ō tātou kare ā-roto rānei, me te kore he whakamārama tika. I roto i ngā whanaungatanga, he rerekē ngā wheako o ia tangata, ngā uara, me ngā tirohanga. He mea tūturu ēnei rerekētanga, engari ka taea te waiho hei pūtake o te raruraru mēnā kāore e whakahaerea mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua.
Mā ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tika, ka taea e te tokorua te hono i ēnei rerekētanga. Hei tauira, ina he rerekē ngā whakaaro mō te whakahaere pūtea, ka taea e te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te huri i te pakanga hei kōrero: he aha ngā hiahia o ia tangata, he aha ā rātou kaupapa matua, me pēhea te kimi i tētahi otinga tika. Kāore tēnei māramatanga e hangaia mā te kōrero kotahi, engari mā te kōrerorero—e rua ngā taha, e tuwhera ana, e tautoko ana tetahi i tetahi.
Ārai i ngā pakanga iti kei huri hei pakanga nui
Kāore e taea te karo i te taupatupatu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, engari ko te mea e wehewehe ai i ngā whanaungatanga hauora me ngā whanaungatanga hauora ko te whakahaere. He maha ngā whanaungatanga e hinga ana, ehara i te mea he nui rawa ngā raruraru, engari nā te mea ka pōturi haere ngā kare ā-roto o te pouri me te kore e rangona. Ka taea e te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ngoikore te whakanui ake i ngā take iti ki ngā take nui mā te tuku i a rātou kia hoki mai anō me te kore e whakatauhia.
Mā ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ka āwhina i a tātou ki te whakapuaki i ngā amuamu i roto i te huarahi kore-whakaeke. Ko ngā kīanga pēnei i te "Ko koe tonu..." me te "Kāore rawa koe..." ka whakaoho i te ātete. Engari, ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua ake ka whakamahi i tētahi huarahi e whakamahi ana i ngā wheako whaiaro, hei tauira: "E pouri ana ahau ina kore e arohia taku whakahau nā te mea e hiahia ana ahau ki te whakamanawa." Pēnei, ehara te arotahi ki te whakapae, engari ki te whakamārama i te pānga me ngā matea. Mā tēnei ka puta he whai wāhitanga mō te hoa, mō tētahi atu tangata rānei ki te mārama me te whakapai ake, kaua ki te rapu utu, ki te karo rānei.
Te hanga i tētahi wairua haumaru ā-hinengaro
Ko ngā whanaungatanga pakari e tohuhia ana e te wairua haumaru o te ngākau: te whakaaro ka taea e tātou te noho ko tātou anō, te whakapuaki i ō tātou kare ā-roto, me te kōrero mō ngā mea uaua me te kore e wehi i te whakahē, i te whakama rānei. Kāore tēnei wairua haumaru e puta noa mai; he mea hanga i runga i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pumau, aroha, me te whakaute.
Ko te whakarongo kaha te mea nui. He tokomaha te hunga e whakarongo ana hei whakautu, ehara i te mea hei mārama. Heoi, ina kōrero mai tētahi i tētahi kōrero, i tētahi āwangawanga rānei, ko te mea e hiahiatia ana ehara i te otinga tere, engari he whakaaro kia māramahia. Mā ngā whakautu ngāwari pēnei i te "E mārama ana ahau he uaua tēnā ki a koe" me te "Kōrero mai anō" ka taea te waihanga i tētahi wāhi mahana, whakamarie hoki. Ina whakatūria he wairua haumaru, ka noho te whanaungatanga hei kāinga whakamarie, ehara i te wāhi hei whakaatu ko wai te tika.
Āwhina ki te whakapuaki i ngā hiahia me ngā rohe
He wāhanga nui ngā hiahia me ngā rohe o tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. Ki te kore he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ka huri ngā hiahia hei tono huna, ko ngā rohe kāore i te kōrerotia ka huri hei riri ohorere. Mā ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ka taea e tātou te whakapuaki i ō tātou hiahia me te mārama me te pakeke, me te whakaute anō hoki i ngā hiahia o ētahi atu.
Hei tauira, tera pea ka hiahia tetahi ki tētahi wā mokemoke i muri i tētahi rā roa i te mahi. Ki te kore he whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, tera pea ka kitea tēnei e te hoa he makariri, he kore aro rānei. Heoi, ki te pai te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero—"Me 30 meneti ahau hei whakawātea i tōku hinengaro i muri i te mahi, kātahi ka hiahia ahau ki te kōrero"—ka mārama taua hiahia, kāore e hē te whakamārama. Ka ako hoki tēnei momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kāore ngā rohe e tohu ana i te whakakorenga, engari ko te pupuri i te taurite mō tētahi whanaungatanga hauora.
Te whakapakari i te whakawhirinaki me te whanaungatanga tata
Ko te whakawhirinaki te hua o te ōritetanga o ngā kupu me ngā mahi. He mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki te hanga whakawhirinakitanga nā te mea ka whakapuaki i ngā herenga, ka whakamārama i ngā mahi, ka whakatika i ngā māramatanga kāore anō kia waiho hei whakapae. Ina tuwhera te tangata mō ōna kare ā-roto, ina pono ōna whakaaro, ā, ina whakaae ki ngā hapa, ka piri ake, ka mahana ake te whanaungatanga.
Mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai ka āwhina i te pupuri i te piripono mō te wā roa. Hei tauira, i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha, ka taea e ngā mahi o ia rā te whakapōturi i te whanaungatanga mena kāore he kōrero whai tikanga. Mā ngā pātai ngāwari pēnei i te "He aha te wāhanga pai rawa atu o tō rā?" "He mea kei te whakararuraru i a koe i ngā rā tata nei?" ka taea te whakaaro kei te manaakitia te hoa. Kāore te piripono e hangaia mā roto i ngā wā nui anake, engari mā roto i ngā mahi aro iti, auau.
Te whakaiti i ngā māramatanga hē i te ao matihiko
I tēnei ao o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero matihiko—te kōrerorero, ngā karere kuputuhi, ngā pāpāho pāpori—kei te piki haere te maha o ngā māramatanga. Kāore he āhua kanohi, he reo, he reo tinana rānei i roto i ngā karere kuputuhi. Ka kitea pea he tere te kōrero mō ngā rerenga poto, ka kitea pea he koretake ngā wā okioki i roto i ngā whakautu, ā, he maha ngā wā ka whakakapia te whakamārama e ngā whakapae.
Ko ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i tēnei wā e hiahia ana kia āta whiriwhiria ngā kupu, kia mārama ina ruarua, kia mārama hoki kāore ngā mea katoa e tika ana mō te tuku karere kuputuhi. He pai ake te kōrero mō ētahi āhuatanga kanohi ki te kanohi, mā te waea rānei hei whakaatu i ngā āhuatanga kare ā-roto. Mā te tikanga o te pātai, "He aha te tikanga o tēnei?" "Kei te pai koe?" ka ārai i ngā taupatupatu koretake.
Te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hei pūkenga ka taea te whakangungu
Ko te rongo pai, ehara te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i te mea he pūkenga ā-roto noa iho; he pūkenga ka taea te ako me te whakaharatau. Ko ētahi o ngā mahi māmā ka taea e koe te mahi ko:
1. Whakaharatauhia te whakarongo kaha: arotahi ki te tangata e kōrero ana koe, kaua e whakararuraru, ā, whakahokia te karere matua kia mārama ai.
2. Whakamahia te kupu “au” hei utu mō te kupu “koe”: whakapuakihia ō kare ā-roto me ō hiahia i roto i te reo kore whakapae.
3. Whakahaerehia ō kare ā-roto i mua i te kōrero: ina riri koe, whakamutua kia kore ai ō kupu e mamae.
4. Kia maia ki te pātai whakamārama: kaua e whakaaro noa; pātai tika mai he aha te tikanga.
5. Whakamanahia ngā kare ā-roto: kāore koe e hiahia kia whakaae tonu, engari me whakaae ko ngā kare ā-roto o ētahi atu he mea tūturu ki a rātou.
He mea nui ake te ōritetanga i te tino pai. Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora e hangai ana ki ngā tikanga o ia rā, ehara i te mea ko ngā wā anake e puta ai ngā pakanga nui.
Whakamutunga
Kāore e taea te whakanui rawa i te hiranga o ngā pūkenga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai ka āwhina i te whakawhanake i te māramatanga, ka ārai i te piki haere o te pakanga, ka waihanga i te wairua haumaru o te kare ā-roto, ka whakaū i ngā hiahia me ngā rohe, ā, ka whakapakari i te whakawhirinaki me te piripono. I tēnei ao matihiko tere haere o ēnei rā, he mea nui ake te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama me te aroha ki te karo i ngā māramatanga kore. Hei whakamutunga, ehara i te mea kāore he raruraru o te whanaungatanga kaha, engari he whanaungatanga e whakatere ana i aua raruraru i roto i te huarahi hauora—ā, ka tīmata tēnā me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai.
Ki te hiahia koe, ka taea hoki e au te whakarerekē i tēnei tuhinga ki tētahi horopaki motuhake (hei tauira, ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti, te marena, te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero a te mātua-tamaiti) te whakarerekē rānei i te momo reo kia ōkawa ake, kia wātea ake rānei.
